Crew's Control
You never know what you'll find, so it's best to be prepared
This was written for Day 6 of Bradley Ramsey’s Halls of Pandemonium.
“Ben and Ail’s packs are filled to burstin’, and you want to add another 10 stone?”
And if we don’t bring all of this? What will you say when we’re all dead in a ditch Piter?
“I’ll say nothin’, Saro, on account of bein’ dead in a ditch.”
My point exactly! We’d all miss your constant nagging and nitpicking, and then where would we be?
“Ugh, fine. Let’s go one at a time then. What do we need this bloody massive stick for?”
Ah, yes. That one can grow taller if you twist it. Not in here, you idiot, it’d go right through the roof! Anyway, we have one of the haulers hold the bottom while Ben or Trianne cling to the top, it’ll sway a bit but they’ll be above any tree cover in moments and able to scout out our surroundings.
“And you’ll be the one to convince ‘em to cling to a rod of metal shootin’ ‘em into the sky?”
Nope, I’m just the tinker. That’s a trader’s job for certain.
“Fine. It never hurts to know what’s around us. What about that blanket? We’ve already got the tarps and such packed, don’t see why we need more.”
That one stiffens and floats when wet. It’s like a cloth canoe you can fold up in a pack when it’s dry. You remember how well it went when we tried portaging, don’t you?
“Don’t remind me. I swear I still have a splinter stuck in my ear.”
Oh! I think I have something for-
“Not now. Not sure how well a square of damp cloth will steer but I suppose it’s better than nothing. What about this crumbly stuff?”
Ah! I finally figured that one out. It’s food, of a sort. Once you add some ammonia and water, it expands into a bread-like substance that’s quite filling.
“Ammonia?”
Yes. It’s a chemical, and while there are a few ways to get it I knew you wouldn’t let me bring a barrel of the stuff, so we’ll have to produce our own while we travel.
“Produce our — Wait, do you mean we’re going to be eatin’ food soaked in—”
Of course we’ll boil it first. And I tried it already, there’s no lingering taste.
“Ugh. Fine. But only as a last resort. And don’t tell anyone else about this or I swear I’ll stand back and let them take it out of your hide.”
Well, it won’t exactly be easy to conceal the smell-
“Figure it out then. All right, finally, the sheet of starmetal. Just a plain, unworked, sheet of starmetal.”
You never know when it will come in handy! There are all sorts of things I could make with this, and it’ll do as a shield in a pinch.
“And it weighs as much as a child. On top of everything else. We’re leaving that here.”
Ugh. Your loss. But for every time along the way that this could have come in handy, you owe me a half dozen stars.
“And every time Ben or Ail bellyache about how much you’re pilin’ on ‘em, I’ll take six stars right back.”
Deal! Now then, shall we?
“Aye. Better get on the road before another crew catches wind of this shipfall. But remember-”
Not a word about the piss-bread, I know.
This story takes place in my Shipfall setting, and is a showcase of how tinkers will Always find a way to misuse the various technological marvels they come across.